It’s human nature to want to fit in . . . to belong . . . to be an integral part of “the crowd.” In our continuing effort to heighten your social acceptability, and to nurture your unabridged quest for knowledge, we’ve have decided to publish a few segments from our special Beer Drinker’s Dictionary. Memorize these entries and believe us, all the local regulars (and some of the irregulars) will be in total awe of you. In alphabetical order (not necessarily in order of importance):
ALE — How you feel the morning after being overserved.
BOCK — What Arnold said he would be in Terminator 2.
BREWSKI — The art of downhill drinking.
COORS — Affirmative. Example: “Do you want a beer?” Silly question. Correct answer: “Of coors I do!”
HAMMS — Sommewhat salty pork mmeat that goes great with mmicrobrews.
HOPS — Calisthenics done when long lines are found at the rest areas.
LITTLE KINGS — Very short-statured Elvis impersonators.
MICROBREW — The very best beer; prone to unexpected shortages. (When asked if you want a microbrew, be a hamm and say, “Of coors I do!” Then hop on over and grab one before those bottles all disappear!)
NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER — Someone’s idea of a really bad joke.
SIX PACK — What I willingly gave up in exchange for more than my share of microbrews!