beer drinker’s dictionary
Clubs of America | Feb 17, 2016
It’s human nature to want to fit in . . . to belong . . . to be an integral part of “the crowd.” In our continuing effort to heighten your social acceptability, and to nurture your unabridged quest for knowledge, your friends at your favorite Beer of the Month Club have decided to once again publish a few segments from our special Beer Drinker’s Dictionary. Memorize these entries and believe us, all the local regulars (and some of the irregulars) will be in total awe of you. In alphabetical order (not necessarily in order of importance):
ALE — How you feel the morning after being over served.
BOCK — What Arnold said he would be in Terminator 2.
BREWSKI — The art of downhill drinking.
COORS — Affirmative. Example: “Do you want a beer?” Correct answer: “Of coors I do! But only if it’s a Club’s micro brew!”
HAMMS — Somewhat salty pork meat that goes great with micro brews.
HOPS — Calisthenics done when long lines are found at the rest areas.
LITTLE KINGS — Very short statured (‘vertically challenged’) Elvis impersonators.
MICROBREW — The very best beer; prone to unexpected shortages. (When asked if you want a microbrew, be a hamm and say, “Of coors I do!” Then hop on over and grab one before those bottles all disappear!)
NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER — Someone’s idea of a really sick joke.
SIX PACK — What I willingly gave up in exchange for more than my fair share of Beer Club microbrews!
RUSTY DRESON OF JOHNSON CITY, TN ASKS: “MR. BEERHEAD, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A ‘FLAMING GEORGE’?” Assuming your question relates to beer, yes, I HAVE heard of it! The expense account of George Washington (father of our country) included scores of entries for a drink called “flip,” made from beer, rum, cream, sugar and eggs. With all the ingredients in place, a red hot fireplace poker (called a loggerhead) was plunged into the gooey drink, expelling foam all over the table and drinker alike. His favorite drink was dubbed a “Flaming George.”
Featured Beer from Shmaltz Brewery: Hop Manna IPA & Slingshot Lager
INDIA PALE ALE — Shmaltz Brewery’s Hop Manna IPA: There is a long snappy finish to this top fermented ale family of “beers of yesteryear.” Full bodied and dry hopped, serve it at 13°C/55°F with hearty main courses of red meats, Cheddar cheese or sharp salad dressing. (Goes well with nachos and wings.)
LAGER — Shmaltz Brewery’s Slingshot Lager: A bottom-fermented brew, lagers are aged for several months at very cold temperatures, which gives them a smooth, refined, complex taste with interesting carbonation. (The word “lager” means “to store.”) Best served cold, straight from the cooler at 40-45°, with fish, pork, poultry, or cheeses.
Featured Beer from Belfast Bay Brewery: McGoverns Oatmeal Stout & Lobster Red Ale
RED ALE — Belfast Bay’s Lobster Red Ale: Usually subtle in flavor, Red Ales are made with lots of lager-style hops. The red color usually comes from Crystal malt, crystallized and caramelized before being added to the brew. Enjoy with beef brisket, burgers, grilled pork.
OATMEAL STOUT — Belfast Bay’s Oatmeal Stout: On the sweet, rich and dark end of the spectrum, this top-fermented bottled ale beauty would be a heavenly accompaniment to pizza, salads, Italian foods, dark flavorful breads and nearly all fish dishes. (The Bay’s version touts subtle chocolate and caramel flavors with a milky head.)